The Waves of Destiny
by HellRat
Summary: Merlin has loved Arthur longer than he cares to admit, he was ready to watch him marry Gwen so long as his King was happy, but now that the wedding is off Merlin finds himself to be Arthur's greatest comfort in his loss. Morgana did not realize that by ruining Arthur and Gwen's relationship she set events in motion that will change the course of Arthur's destiny and seal her fate.
1. Chapter 1: Equals?

Chapter 1, Equals?

Merlin stood outside Arthur's door deciding if it was wise to disturb the King, today was supposed to be his wedding to Gwen, but she was gone and who knew what kind of mood that would leave Arthur in. Deciding to be cautious Merlin knocked on the door, he waited a moment before poking his head in, his eyes scanning for his master. There, by the window was Arthur seemingly lost in thought. Merlin closed the door behind him and walked over to the King's side. "Arthur?" He spoke breaking the man out of his thought. Arthur shut his teary eyes pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to hide the moisture but Merlin had seen it.

"Merlin, did I not tell you to knock before entering my chambers?" Merlin raised an eyebrow at the man, a habit he picked up from Gaius.

"I… Did knock sire..." He said it slowly, worried that Arthur would be easily offended in his emotional state.

Arthur paused looking away from Merlin for a moment before nodding. "Yes, good." Arthur turned away from the man with a sigh. "You may go." He said with a wave of his hand.

"Arthur?"

"Your services are not required for the remainder of the night." Merlin took a step closer to the other man eying him with concern.

"Arthur... are you sure..." Arthur's head snapped around to face Merlin eyes blazing with hurt.

"No! I have made my decision! Now leave it be!" Merlin wasn't surprised that Arthur knew he was about to ask about Gwen again, but it pained him to see the King in such despair, he preferred the smile Gwen had brought him.

"We're alone Arthur, you don't need to keep up appearances with me." Merlin carefully placed a hand on Arthur's shoulder, the man tensed under the touch but did not move away. "I don't think you should be alone right now." He moved closer resting his arms around the blonds shoulders in an attempt to comfort him in his grief. Arthur did not push Merlin away, the other man was right, he didn't want to be alone but he also didn't want anyone to see the pain in his eyes or the tears on his face. So he allowed Merlin to hold him from behind, where he could be comforting but could not see the true hurt the events with Guinevere had caused him. They stayed that way for a long while before Merlin realized that Arthur was shaking, the hour was late so he carefully led the man over to his bed. Merlin assisted Arthur in undressing, careful that his hands didn't linger on any skin contact as he went. Once down to his tights Merlin turned away as Arthur finished changing into his night pants, he moved to leave for the night.

"Merlin..." It was a whisper, but the raven haired man heard it. He turned back to Arthur, clad in only his pants he stood by his bed, shaking. "Stay..." Another whisper.

"Sire-"

"Please?" Merlin stopped. Arthur rarely said please, and never in such a gentle questioning way, not once in the many years he knew the man had he ever said please without sarcasm. Merlin bit his lip unsure what to do. He knew he shouldn't stay, Merlin had strict rules about his relationship with Arthur, not because he was a servant but because some things were just to painful for him. He loved Arthur, but even if by some miracle those feelings were returned he knew they could never be together, Arthur was King, he would need an heir and it simply would not be acceptable. So Merlin was always careful to keep some things off limits, like being in Arthur's presence overnight. Merlin finally looked up meeting Arthur's gaze, the King's eyes were full of the pain the man refused to let anyone know he was feeling, his cheeks were wet with an endless slow stream of tears. With a heavy sigh Merlin knew he couldn't say no. He made his way back over as Arthur climbed into his bed. The warlock took a seat on the edge of the bed next to the blond, he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and watched Arthur's eyes close. He would stay until the King was asleep and then he would take his leave.

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Small rays of sunshine peaked through thick red curtains landing on Arthur's face, he felt reality wrapping around him and bringing him back from the blissful world of dreams. He sighed as he adjusted himself in his comfortable bed only to find his movement was being disrupted by a weight on his waist. The King's eyes opened as his head snapped to his left where a fully clothed Merlin was fast asleep, an arm slung over Arthur in almost a protective manor. That's when it dawned on Arthur, his servant had stayed with him all through the night, the thought warmed his pained heart just a little, after everything Arthur always puts the other man through, Merlin was still a loyal friend who worried over the King's well being. Despite this affection he found himself feeling Arthur knew he couldn't allow it to continue, even if the black haired man was fully clothed it was still likely that anyone who might enter the King's room would get the wrong idea as to why Merlin was sleeping there. With that thought, Arthur put a firm hand on Merlin's shoulder and shoved the man out of the bed while shouting his name, effectively shocking the man awake.

"What is it!?" Shouted in a panic as he quickly got to his feet searching the room as if they were under attack. Seeing no one he looked at Arthur's amused expression rolling his eyes as the shock wore off and the pain from hitting the hard floor set in. The Prat pushed him out of the bed while he was in a dead sleep!

"My breakfast, go!" Arthur ordered as if Merlin had just forgotten his breakfast rather than having woken up already in the room. Merlin gave Arthur an annoyed look before heading for the door so that he could fetch the man breakfast. "Oh and Merlin!" He called after him causing Merlin to turn back to the man. "Thank you." Merlin was taken back, the King said please and thank you within just twelve hours, Merlin had never had those words spoken with sincerity to him by Arthur in all the time he knew him. Merlin's cheeks darkened a little, he was touched by the small gesture of acknowledgment. "Now go!" Arthur shouted bringing Merlin back to the task of fetching breakfast, he quickly dashed from the room and quickly ran for the kitchen.

About half way there Merlin stopped trying to catch his breath as he clutched at his heart. He had fallen asleep last night, in the King's bed! The idea making Merlin a little to happy, a warmth in his chest and a grin on his face. He tried to tell himself that it couldn't happen again, that this time was just an accident and the only reason Arthur wasn't mad was because he needed company. Despite this Merlin could not control the hope he was feeling, no matter how hard he mentally stomped on this hope with logic it just kept growing. Shaking his head Merlin started back toward the Kitchen again.

Merlin was quick to grab the King's breakfast and made his way back up to his Chambers, as his hands were full he didn't bother knocking, simply pushed his way in to find Arthur already at the table, paper work in hand. The King looked up at him with a blank expression. "Ah Merlin." He said placing his papers down. "I don't know who I expected, everyone else knocks before entering my chambers," Arthur teased a slight smile gracing his feature.

"If I knock you just ignore me," Merlin said referring to the previous night. He walked over and set the tray of food in front of the blond. "Breakfast!" He stated with glee.

"Yes Merlin, I can see that." Arthur rolled his eyes returning to the papers. "Why don't you get to work, My armor needs polishing, my clothes need washing and my room is a mess." Merlin quirked an eyebrow at the… short list he was just presented with.

"Anything else?" His worry for the King returned, it is true the man overworked him, but that is how Merlin knew he was himself.

"Yes, I'll be training with the knights today so after that I'll need a bath and my armor will need to be polished again." Arthur stated not looking over at the other man. Well, polish armor twice, that sounded a little more like Arthur. Merlin hadn't moved, he stayed watching Arthur for any sign of the broken man from the previous night. Finally Arthur's eyes met Merlin's and everything seemed to stop for the warlock. Arthur's eyes were… warm to Merlin, he was seeing a care in the King's eyes that had never been present there before. The hope started to bubble again and Merlin couldn't stop it, even reminding himself that Arthur, though hiding it well, was still wounded from Gwen's betrayal. "Well, go!" Arthur ordered loudly breaking Merlin's trance and sending the boy running out of the room to start with the armor down in the armory.

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Arthur set the last of his paperwork down pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance, paperwork was the most painful part of being King. He looked over at his half eaten breakfast and his mind shifted fondly to Merlin. "You don't need to keep up appearances with me. I don't think you should be alone right now." Merlin's voice was echoing in his head over and over again. The man's devotion to him was always amazing to Arthur, no matter what Merlin always treated Arthur as he would any of his closest friends. He could read Arthur like a book and always knew what was needed of him from the King, the comfort he offered had made getting back to his daily duties easier for Arthur. Yes Merlin was a servant but Arthur could admit to himself that Merlin was also a friend, his greatest friend. "You don't need to keep up appearances with me." Those words just kept going in his mind. Maybe, at least when alone in the safety of his Chambers, Arthur and Merlin could be just Arthur and Merlin. Not Master and servant or King and peasant, but friend and friend, equals even. Arthur actually found the idea pleasing, he felt weakened by Guinevere's betrayal, perhaps having someone to confide in as an equal would help him over come the pain.


	2. Chapter 2 Be A Compassionate King

A/N: Hello all! I'm excited for the positive fees back this story has already recieved. I am hoping I'll be able to update weekly so no one will have to wait to long. Also please let me know if you notice anything overly out of character, I am hoping to keep everyone as in character as u can with some character development that would make sense with the direction the story goes. ENJOY!

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Merlin had told himself that him staying overnight with Arthur was an accident that would not happen again. However it seemed Arthur did not share his need to avoid the situation, he couldn't blame the King, it was clear he was seeking comfort from a friend whenever the hurt returned to him, but to Merlin it was a taste of something he shouldn't have. After the first time Merlin had stayed with Arthur, the blond seemed to start treating Merlin differently when in private. Arthur didn't hide emotion from Merlin and even spoke to him as if on equal ground. He had been asked by the King to stay with him the three nights after the first night, then as Arthur's wounds seemed to heal a little more from the comfort of Merlin's council and presence it became every other night, than less and less as the King felt better. Each time he was asked to stay Merlin would tell himself he would leave as soon as Arthur was asleep, however each time he managed to fall asleep in the King's bed, though Arthur never woke up angry, even when they found themselves wrapped around each other, it was almost painful for Merlin, it truly was a taste of the love he felt that could not be returned by the blond. Gaius noticed Merlin's absence fairly quickly, Merlin had told him he was just getting in very late and waking up very early, the old man did not buy that but he let it go nonetheless.

On this particular night it had been three days sense Arthur had last asked Merlin to stay with him, the warlock had just entered the room, without knocking of course, to clean up the King's dinner when he stopped in his tracks. Arthur was sitting under the window staring off into nothing, deep in thought, his face was in a frown and there were dark circles under his eyes that Merlin had not noticed before. He made his way over to Arthur, kneeling down next to him. "Sire?" Merlin gently placed a hand on the blond's shoulder bringing him back to reality. "This really doesn't look like a good place to sleep my lord," Merlin joked with a grin. Arthur didn't seem amused, he gave a heavy sigh placing a hand over Merlin's causing the dark haired man's breath to catch. "Ha-Have you been sleeping at all my lord?"Merlin questioned with concern as Arthur's eye finally met his. He didn't answer, the pain was in his eyes again, a loneliness that made Merlin's heart ache. Merlin moved to hoist the man onto his feet so he might get him to bed but as he reached for the man Arthur grabbed him and pulled him down to sit next to him. "Arthur?"

"Just… Stay..." It wasn't an order, it was almost a plea. Merlin felt uneasy, his King was not acting like himself at all, during the day he was still the insufferable prat of a King he knew and loved. However, when the council, the uncle and all the other servants were gone late into the night Arthur was almost a broken man. He wasn't truly broken, not like Uther had been, he got up in the morning and took care of his duties, but when duty was gone, when it was just Merlin, Arthur could be just Arthur, emotion and all. Arthur leaned his head over onto Merlin's shoulder, as if too tired to hold his head up anymore. "Perhaps my father had been right, to marry for love is foolish." Merlin shook his head at that statement, his lips forming a tight line.

"I don't believe that. Arthur, a strong King is a man with love in his heart, kindness. Perhaps Gwen was the wrong person," Arthur noticeably winced at the name, silently asking Merlin not to say it again. "but I do not believe that marrying without love would be the right decision. The people want a King with compassion, a King that will treat them fairly as equals, and a King that would marry for status over love is not a compassionate King." Merlin wrapped his arm around Arthur's shoulders, his hand resting on the side of the blond head. He knew it wasn't exactly appropriate for him to take this position with his master but he also knew that while they were alone like this it really didn't matter to either of them anymore. This is the position they held, Arthur leaning into Merlin as he ran his fingers through the blond hair in an attempt to relax the King. When Merlin felt the man getting heavier he pushed the King off of himself. Arthur was reluctant to move but did so anyway, once free from the weight Merlin stood and leaned over to help the King up. As he always did when he was available to assist, Merlin helped Arthur undress, handed him his night pants and let him finish changing without eyes on him. The warlock pulled back the bedding for the King and watched as the man got into the bed.

"Will you stay?" Arthur asked, it was becoming a regular occurrence, Arthur asking rather than demanding.

Merlin nodded. "Just until you fall asleep." He said that every time, and every time he knew it to be a lie. Merlin sat on the edge of the bed next to the King and placed his hand back in the hair, gently running his fingers through. Already Merlin felt his eyes drooping from the long day but he forced himself to stay awake, determined to let the other man fall into sleep first. When Merlin thought the other man had finally fallen into the land of dreams he moved to leave before he himself fell asleep. A strong arm wrapped around the thin man pulling him down into the bed with a yelp. Merlin wasn't sure if the man was awake or not, either way Arthur, King Arthur, just dragged Merlin back into his bed and is now holding the warlock against his chest rather tightly. Merlin attempted to wiggle his way out of the King's grasp without waking the blond however the arm had a very good hold on him, he couldn't use magic as Arthur could still be awake. That is how Merlin ended up spending yet another night sleeping in the king's bed.

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Merlin's eyes shot open, the sun had not broken the sky yet and Arthur was no longer holding him down. Sometime in the night he had rolled over to face the man who was now tucked under his chin against his chest almost like a child. Merlin scooted away a little to look at the blond, Arthur looked peaceful, the circles seemed to have lightened already. Merlin smiled as he leaned in placing a kiss to the King's left temple, then reality returned to the servant. He pulled away as if burned and removed himself from the bed quickly leaving the room. As the door closed behind the warlock another set of blue eyes lazily opened, eying the empty spot in the bed.

Merlin made his way quickly to Gaius' door, he tiptoed his way into Gaius' and his living aea, attempting not to alert the man to his arrival. As he crossed the room he was startled by the very man he was trying to sneak past sitting on his bed watching him with his classic raised eyebrow. "This is becoming a habit Merlin." Gaius said calmly.

"Yes well, Arthur is getting up earlier than usual which means he needs breakfast early…" Merlin started walking for his room.

"The truth Merlin, where have you been? I know you did not come back last night, I was up all night with a patient." Gaius watched him sternly.

Merlin gave a heavy sigh, his head dropping so he might stare at the ground rather than the old man. "I was with Arthur…" It was mumbled but Gaius heard him.

"All night?" Merlin's eyes shot up at the tone in Gaius' voice.

"Just sleeping!" Merlin shouted a little too loud and defensively.

"Is this where you have been the nights you've been "coming back late" Merlin simply nodded. "Merlin." Gaius sounded worried and disappointed.

"I know! He asked me to stay Gaius, Arthur is hurting after what happened with Gwen, I couldn't just leave him alone!" Merlin sat on the steps to his little room with a heavy sigh as he rubbed his eyes.

"But Merlin, what about you?" Gaius said it so gently. Merlin knew what he meant, what about his feelings? What about how much it hurt to be so close to Arthur in a way that was painfully intimate but not have him at all, to know that he was just filling a void left by Gwen and soon enough he would be replaced by a proper partner for the King. However, this was his place in the world, as Arthur's servant he couldn't refuse, even worse, he didn't want to.

Merlin shook his head looking up at Gaius. "It doesn't matter how I feel, Arthur needs me." Merlin got up and walked back out of the room, Gaius knew the truth, there was no longer any point in pretending he had been in his own bed that night. Merlin quickly retrieved the King's breakfast and then made his way back to the man's room. As always he entered without a knock, finding the King already at his work table reading paperwork.

"Breakfast!" Merlin said cheerfully placing the tray of food on the desk. Arthur's only acknowledgement of Merlin was a brief glance up at him.

"Merlin, we are going on patrol today with the knights. Go ready the horses and supplies." The order was very simple and somewhat cold. Merlin was shocked at the shift in the air between them, things had been much more… warm between them these past few weeks but now the King was cold and to the point, not a single teasing word. Thinking better than to question it Merlin simply nodded and left the room to prepare the horses. Once the brunet was gone Arthur's fingers absentmindedly rubbed at his left temple, where Merlin had kissed him earlier.


	3. Chapter 3: What If It Was Me?

A/N: Alright guys, this is when we really get rollin'! Just a heads up I am getting into finals at college so I won't be posting another chapter for a couple of weeks but don't worry, the adventure will continue!

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Chapter 3: What if it was me?

The scouting trip had been business as usual for the King and servant, though Merlin was very irritated that everyone had ignored his warnings about the shrine, however so far it didn't seem anyone had brought any enchantments or spirits back with them so he allowed his mind to ease. Gaius looked at him from his food with a raised eyebrow. "Besides the shrine, is anything else troubling you?"

"No." Merlin said simply, his stomach constricting at the lie.

"Now you're lying to me." Gaius eyed him curiously, clearly determined to get an answer.

"Arthur has been… troubled, he seemed to be moving on from Gwen, but during the petrol he wouldn't speak to me. Just now he sent me away and told me I had the night off." Merlin waited for a reaction from Gaius but that man just looked confused. "The night off Gaius."

"Yes, I heard you, I thought you would have been thrilled to have an evening off."

"But Arthur never gives me the night off, not unless he is angry with me or he is troubled and wants to deal with it alone. Either way it can't be good." mentally Merlin added that Arthur hadn't dismissed him sense that first night he had stayed with the man. He wanted to go and check on the King however as the blond was on edge all day the warlock knew better than to push the situation. He would have to wait until morning.

"It is likely nothing Merlin, you need not worry so much." Gaius got up to clean up his plate and Merlin sighed. Tomorrow, he would deal with it tomorrow.

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The following morning as was usual Merlin entered Arthur's room with no announcement, he was shocked to find the King asleep at his work table his face laying in his dinner. Merlin considered waking the man gently but the opportunity seemed to good to pass up, so instead he slammed his hand on the table startling the man up right. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," He said, absolutely not sorry.

"You didn't scare me, I was asleep," Arthur said sounding groggy. Merlin bit his lip to keep from laughing at the food on Arthur's face. "Why have you got a stupid smile on your face?"

Merlin's expression fell. "it's nothing. Why were you sleeping with your head on the table?"

Arthur paused at this, not having a good reason. "...fell asleep while I was reading."

Eying the man skeptically Merlin noted there was no paper or book on the table. "What were you reading?"

Arthur frowned seeing nothing on the table, he absentmindedly brought his hand up to touch the spot on his left temple again, only to find the area wet. He brought the hand into eye sight finding an odd colored mess on his fingers. He quickly pushed the plate of food aside grabbing the shiny platter under it to look at the food that coated the left side of his face. His eyes shot at the man who had decided not to inform him of the food that was all over him. "Merlin!"

"You know, you look like you could use some breakfast." Merlin said about to run for the door.

"Merlin! Come here, NOW!" Merlin froze at the order, Arthur sounded far more angry than he had expected. Merlin stepped closer to the King with a frown. "I am the King of Camelot, I'm to be shown respect and do not wish to tolerate your clear lack of understanding as to what your place is." Merlin's breath caught, this was miles from the progress they had made, sure their… equality only existed in private but the loss of it was painful. "Now clean this up." He gestured to his face as he leaned back in the chair. Merlin walked over to the wash bowl, grabbing the rag and made his way back to the King, he knelt next to him and started wiping at the food as gently as he could. Merlin dared not speak, worried the hurt in his chest would be heard in his voice.

Arthur stayed quiet for similar reasons, he hadn't meant to be so harsh. He had been up thinking about why he had enjoyed Merlin's lips on his face, the whole night was his mind bouncing from the druid camp, to Guinevere, to Merlin, how he missed The woman who had hurt him so deeply and how Merlin seemed to be the only one who offered him any comfort. How much he enjoyed waking up with the man next to him, how much better he slept when Merlin stayed with him. It was all very troubling. He was also plagued with the memories of the druid camp, yet the thought of Merlin and his presence in the room seemed to ease him. "Merlin…" Arthur turned his head to look at the other and found Merlin was very close, to close. Merlin could feel Arthur's breath on him and Arthur could see all the shades of blue in Merlin's eyes.

"Arthur?" Definitely to close, Arthur almost felt the warlock's lips around the word. Arthur snapped his body away and snatching the rag from the servant.

"Please just get me some breakfast." Merlin nodded standing up and running from the room. Now alone, Arthur rubbed the rag at his face sloppily, taking extra care when he got to his temple. Realising what he was doing he then scrubbed at the spot until it was raw and red, determined to forget the feel of Merlin so that he might be able to let it go. It didn't work, even with the burning now prominent in that spot he still felt chapped lips on the spot.

Meanwhile Merlin was making his way slowly to the kitchen, the last moment with Arthur replaying over and over. The brunet couldn't help but think that if he had leaned in just a bit closer he would have kissed his King. Something was different between them, Merlin couldn't figure out when or how it shifted but something in the air had changed and Arthur was very defensive about it.

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Merlin's concern was quickly increasing, they had teased each other as was usual while Arthur prepared to train the knights and they men had noticed the food in the King's hair, which Merlin would not have missed had he been allowed to finish cleaning the food he'll have you know. Merlin had not missed the red skin next to Arthur's left eye, almost like he had decided to clean his face with sand. When Arthur ordered him to help with practice by holding that heavy shield he tried not to feel hurt, the past few weeks Arthur had spared him from the embarrassment of being used for target practice, yet here he was again, back to the position of just some annoying servant. As Arthur swung his sword at the brunet it hurt in his chest more than his arms, realizing he had let himself hope a little too much for something better with Arthur, now that he could clearly see the possibility was never there he almost wanted to let the man actually hit him so he might get some positive attention from the angry man. He hadn't realized how hesitant Arthur's swings were, how light he was actually hitting. Arthur tried to swing with full strength but he simply couldn't do it. He finally stopped, looking anywhere but at Merlin worried he would be met with a questioning gaze, however all Merlin offered the man was a blank stare, hiding his own feelings. As Arthur walked away to make room for Elyan Merlin noted the tension in the man's shoulders, worry over took his hurt. Merlin was determined to bring down whatever wall Arthur was trying to place between them, the man still needed him and Merlin was willing to let go of his hurt to help the man.

Merlin's attention came to Elyan and Merlin brought the shield up against him loosely, figuring Elyan would take it easy on him and he could fawn injury and get out of training duty, and maybe worry Arthur a little. He hadn't expected Elyan to swing so hard, hit after hit hurt Merlin's arms horribly and the hits only seemed to increase in vigur. Merlin's feet caught, his right ankle twisting awkwardly he fell to the ground, one hand went to catch himself the other still only loosely holding the shield as he hadn't been able to adjust from his earlier plan. Elyan got one more big swing in, knocking the shield away causing a loud yelp of pain from Merlin before Arthur finally moved with haste. The King caught the next swing, seeing red as he watched Elyan huff from the force he had used. "He's had enough!" The blond shouted pushing Elyan away. The other knights dragged the man away from the angry King as Arthur turned to Merlin who still lay on the ground clutching his left arm in obvious pain. That was not what Merin had planned at all. Arthur knelt beside him noting the somewhat strange angle his ankle was laying in. "That's enough for today." Arthur called to his knights. He grabbed Merlin by his good arm and helped him up to his feet, Merlin winced as he put weight on his right foot. Rolling his eyes Arthur leaned down using Merlin's right arm to hoist the slimmer man onto his left shoulder, Merlin shouted in shock as his feet left the ground, the King's shoulder and chainmail digging into his stomach.

"What are you doing?!" Merlin shouted, attempting to struggle out of the embarrassing position but Arthur was much stronger than the warlock.

"We are going to see Gaius," Arthur said as though it was obvious. Merlin looked at the knights who were eying the interesting scene curiously.

"I can walk on my own sire."Merlin objected, knowing that there current position was definitely not appropriate for a King and his manservant to be in.

Arthur huffed in annoyance. "You can't even stand Merlin."

"But sire-"

"Merlin!"

"Yes?"

"Shut. UP." With that Merlin went silent as he was carried through the palace like a bag of laundry over the blond's shoulder. Anyone they passed watched after them with curious shocked looks, Merlin tried to ignore them as his cheeks colored from the odd position he was in. The only good thing that came of this was the very horrified and annoyed look he received from Agravaine as they passed him. Arthur tried to ignore the look his uncle gave them, figuring he would be discussing this event with the man later. He was much to focused on making it to the physician's rooms in a timely manner and ignoring how much he enjoyed carrying Merlin around like a rag doll. When they finally made it to Gaius' the old man looked up in shock at the pair that entered his work space.

"What happened!?" Gaius asked as he got up to help Arthur set Merlin down on the examination bed.

"He was injured while the knights were training." Arthur said simply as if it wasn't entirely his fault.

"And by that he means "I'm a clotpole who let my knights hit my manservant to make myself feel better about myself."" Merlin growled out angrily at the blond. He was not going to put up with this anymore, damn the consequences.

"Merlin!" Gaius warned looking between Arthur and Merlin. Seeing the tension between the two boys the old man sighed and left the room with great haste.

"Gaius!?" Merlin called after the man leaving without looking over Merlin's injuries. Merlin finally looked at the King expecting to see annoyance and anger but only being met with worry and… regret. "Arthur?" Said man looked away from Merlin, his lips making a tight line as he seemed to think about what to say next. He kept looking at anything but Merlin, the floor, then the side again. He looked at the warlock finally his mouth relaxing as if to say something but there were no words. Melin gripped his hands nervously causing pain in his left arm and a flinch. Finally Arthur found his words, looking away from Merlin again.

"I'm… sorry." It was a whisper but Merlin's ears still rang from those words. Arthur looked at the warlock with a deep frown. "I thought they would be easy with you." Arthur's tone came out angrier than he had intended, yet he couldn't bring himself to care that he was not keeping his emotions in check, this was just Merlin after all.

Merlin was finding it hard to be angry when met with Arthur's concern for him, it just made him want to grin like an idiot. "Thank you…" Arthur looked away from Merlin, no that was not a blush on the blonds face, definitely not. "It's nice to know… that you care… even a little." Merlin was having trouble finding the words, he was still struggling to keep a bright grin from his face, happy to have some of what they had been building before back. Arthur allowed himself a small smile as he leaned in closer to the other man, carefully grabbing at his good shoulder and placing a gentle kiss to Merlin's left temple. The blond pulled away and made haste for the door.

"Wait until Gaius has a look at you," he looked back at the wide eyed shocked boy. "Then you may return to your duties." The King then exited the room leaving Merlin alone in shocked silence.

Merlin didn't move, he barely allowed himself to breath, had that really happened? Had he imagined it? Merlin brought his good hand up to the spot Arthur's lips had just touched, it tingled. The warlock couldn't stop the wide ecstatic grin that spread across his face, his heart was fluttering at a high rate and the tingle spread from his left temple to the rest of him. He tried to keep the hope in him from getting to strong but he just couldn't help it. Arthur had shown him affection, in the same spot that… Merlin's face heated up realising that Arthur likely remembered Merlin kissing that very same spot on the blond.

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Gaius finally returned to treat Merlin at least an hour after he had left explaining that he had to tend to Elyan before returning to Merlin. While tending to Merlin's injuries they discussed the issue of Elyan's condition, the salt by the foot of Elyan's bed concerning Merlin a great deal. He couldn't be sure but it was very possible that the man was being haunted. Merlin's injuries were minor, a sprained ankle and wrist and a pulled muscle in his arm, Gaius insisted he rest them for a few hours at least before returning to his work. Merlin didn't want to complain about resting however he was simply too eager to talk to Arthur about what had happened, and make sure he didn't fall asleep on the table again, the man was getting too little sleep as it was. When Gaius finally deemed Merlin in good enough health to return to his duties it was already after dinner, which annoyed Merlin, old man was clearly doing it on purpose! Merlin went straight to the King's chambers, limping the whole way with his arm wrapped up in a sling, when he arrived he found the man already done with his dinner staring out the window in deep thought his fingers rubbing gently at his left temple. Merlin tried to act as if nothing had changed, just in case what happened really was his imagination. Merlin cautiously made his way to the King's side, noticing that when the man noticed his presence his hand left his face. "Would you like me to make up the bed sire? Or the table?" He asked cheekily, Arthur didn't respond, he didn't look at Merlin. All this time away from the man he had been driving himself crazy with everything that had plagued his mind for the past few days. Gwen, Merlin, he loved

Guinevere, so much so that it hurt to think he would never see her again even if she had betrayed him. However, it was Merlin that was making everything jumbled up and confusing. Recently when the man is at his side he found himself worrying less and less about Guinevere and more and more about Merlin. When he saw Merlin fall earlier that day he wanted to rip Elyan apart before gathering Merlin in his arms and begging for forgiveness. But a King did not do such things, never with his manservant. "Arthur?" Merlin brought Arthur's attention back to him. "Is… everything alright?" Merlin questioned, noticing how troubled the blond appeared. No response came, the conflict in Arthur's eyes was clear to Merlin however. "Is… this about Gwen?" Arthur's breath caught at the name, confirming her involvement in Arthur's internal battle about Merlin and Arthur's ex fiance. "You miss her?" The question sounded more pained than he intended.

"Merlin-" The tone was a warning but Merlin cut him off before he could finish.

"I'll stay by your side Arthur, no matter what." Merlin knew Arthur could never let go of Gwen, not fully. He also knew that, even if the King did ever return his feelings, there could never be anything more between them. He hoped being by Arthur's side would be enough for both of them.

"Merlin, what happened earlier and… the other morning…" Arthur trailed off, hoping Merlin would understand what he was talking about. Merlin moved closer kneeling down next to the King. As he looked at Merlin's face, expression calm and filled with worry, Arthur lost what he was going to say, it can't happen again? But Arthur knew that meant Merlin would have to stay away at night and the man's presence seemed to be the only thing that helped him sleep. He had no finish to the sentence he started, so it just hung between them, waiting for one of them to speak.

Arthur sighed, he didn't know what to make of the situation, perhaps it was better left to run its course. So Arthur got up from his seat heading over to the table where the papers he needed to read before the end of the night layed. Merlin watched him curiously, getting up ready to leave if that's what Arthur wanted. When Arthur looked at him from his new seat, Merlin ready to be told to get out, Arthur hoping he wouldn't. "Will you stay?" Arthur asked almost cautiously.

Merlin smiled at the other man. "Just until you fall asleep," he said those same words again. Arthur smiled back knowing Merlin would fall asleep before he got the chance to leave the room. Arthur turned back to the papers while Merlin made himself comfortable in the chair Arthur had previously occupied. They sat in a comfortable silence for sometime, just enjoying the company of the other before they were both startled by Elyan entering the room.

"Elyan?" Merlin questioned nervously as he stood from his seat.

"Elyan you startled me." Merlin had an awful feeling, he stepped closer and at that moment Elyan attacked. He swung his sword down hitting the papers on the table as Arthur fell back in his chair, hitting the floor harshly. Merlin threw himself forward coming between Arthur and Elyan, as Elyan swung again Merlin posed his right arm to catch the attack, as he made contact his eyes flashed gold doubling his strength so he could push Elyan back harshly. The sword slid to the other side of the room and Elyan quickly got to his feet and fled the room. "Guards!" Arthur called, getting to his feet. "Are you alright?" Arthur asked examining Merlin who was frozen in place.

"That wasn't Elyan," Merlin said turning to Arthur. "He was possessed by a spirit from the shrine-" Merlin started to explain but was interrupted by the guards entering.

"Elyan has attacked me! Go after him, I want him back here ALIVE!" Arthur ordered sending the men running back out of the room. "Are you alright?" Arthur repeated the earlier question once again turning to Merlin.

"Arthur you have to believe me, Elyan would never hurt you, it wasn't him. I warned you that shrine was cursed. Elyan must have disturbed something and is now under the control of an angry spirit. Please don't punish him for actions that are not-"

"Merlin!" Arthur interrupted the man who was bordering on a rant.

"Yes sire?" Merlin asked finally taking a moment to breath.

"Answer my question."

"What question?"

Arthur sighed placing a hand on Merlin's good shoulder. "Are you alright?" He asked for the third time. Merlin seemed speechless, his mouth opened several times to answer but no sound came out, he tilted his head in thought. Arthur groaned. "Are you hurt?"

Finally Merlin seemed to find his voice. "No." It was a quiet response, but being so close to the man he heard it.

"Good, now what's all this about spirits?"

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Merlin was shocked to say the least, Arthur had not only believed him but he had even gone as far as to blatantly disagree with Agravaine's accusations that Merlin was just trying to protect Elyan. The King had ordered the following evening that Elyan was to be released from the dungeon and let loose in the forest, that bit confused Merlin.

"Are you going to confront him?" Merlin asked as he watched Arthur dressing himself in his armor.

"It's not your concern Merlin."

"Your safety is my concern."

"Merlin-"

Merlin stepped into Arthur's personal space, he assisted the King with the straps as best he could with his one good hand while keeping eye contact as he spoke. "I am going with you."

The King looked torn, should he accept the company of his servant or send him away? The man would likely show up by his side either way. "Merlin, if you are going to do this, there is something you need to know first…" The King paused, he averted his gaze from the other man, looking for the words.

"Arthur?"

"My father did order the attack on the druid camp, however I was the one who carried out the order…" Merlin halted in his movements, watching Arthur's sad expression. "I wanted to impress my father. The knights ignored my order to spare women and children and I lacked the courage to stop them, their blood is on my hands." Tears welled in his blue eye but Arthur did not allow them to fall, he held them in as he waited for Merlin to say something.

"We have all made mistakes Arthur, you cannot hate yourself for something you did under your father's order, but you can make amends." Arthur finally met Merlin's eyes again, finding a determined and almost loving expression. "You cannot give back the lives that have been taken, but you can give back the lives that have been ruined. Give freedom back to those who hide from the world in fear."

"You mean magic…"

Merlin shrugged as if it was no big deal. "Maybe it's not as evil as you think."

"Merlin, magic killed my mother."

"So because of one magical act all magic users are evil and should be punished?" In a bold moment Merlin took Arthur's hand, Arthur paused at this, unsure what to say or do. "What if it were I who did magic, what would you do Arthur?" Arthur's breath hitched, he was shocked at how boldly Merlin was speaking to him. Even insinuating that he would be capable of using magic. "Would you kill me? What if I did it to save your life"

Arthur ripped his hand free of Merlin's and placed both hands on the slim shoulders. "Merlin, don't you ever use magic, not even if my life depended on it." Arthur was stern, he didn't know what he would do if it was Merlin he had to burn at the stake, it would destroy him he was sure.

Merlin smiled with sadness in his eyes, he brought his good hand to Arthur's cheek. "I would do anything for you Arthur, even use magic to save your life. Even if it meant I would give my life for yours I would do it."

"Merlin…" Arthur was always shocked by how ready Merlin was to sacrifice everything for Arthur, not in the way a subject would give their life for their King, but in the way a person would give their life for a loved one.

Merlin realized how close he was to Arthur, he could feel the King's breath on his face. The logical part of him was screaming to step away, that what he was thinking about doing was a bad idea. but Merlin was bad at listening to that part of his mind and instead leaned in, brushing his lips very lightly against Arthur's before quickly stepping away from the very shocked man. It was barely a kiss, more like a very light graze, Arthur almost thought he imagined it.

"We should be going sire." Merlin walked over to the chair on which the King's cloak was placed. Merlin wrapped the fabric around the man's shoulders before opening the door for the king. It was as if nothing had happened. Arthur decided he too would ignore what had just occurred for now, but the subject would likely come up again.

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A/N And there you have it, the first chapter that actually runs with the main plot line of Merlin. Please review! I would love to have my reader's opinions on how wellthis chapter went and how they liked the little changes from the original. See you all in a couple weeks!


	4. Chapter 4: Pull Us Down

A/N: Hey guys, I'm sorry about the wait! I got done with finals and then someone hit my car so o really wasn't in the mood to write. I'm currently in the process of moving so updates are not going to be regular again yet but I promise I'm trying to get back there. So this chapter will have some direct quotes from the show, I only changed dialogue anywhere it made sense to, the further we get the more difference in dialogue we'll see.

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Chapter 4: Pull Us Down

"I need you," He whispered as he pulled away from the kiss. "I can't do this without you." He placed his lips on the others left temple. "Please, never leave me."

The other pulled away smiling at him. "I told you, I will stay by your side, till the day I die." He smiled fondly, but his smile fell as the scene before him changed. A faceless man was now tied to a wooden post as flames licked at his legs. The man was screaming that he was sorry and to look away but he couldn't. The fire grew three times its size and engulfed the man.

"No!"

Arthur shot up in his bed in shock, he was in his room, it was one of the nights he had been without Merlin's company as he had been late with some of the council discussing the negotiations with Nemeth and had dismissed Merlin early. The sun hadn't even started to peak over the horizon yet but Arthur found himself struggling not to run to Gaius and Merlin's rooms to check on his manservant. The man in his dream had been faceless but there was a nagging feeling at the back of the Kings head that told him Merlin was the one in danger. Deciding a walk to clear his head was in order, Arthur got out of his bed, wrapping himself in a warm cloak, in an effort to hide his sleeping clothes, he stepped to the door pulling it open. The King took a step out before stopping as he spotted an oddity to his left, on the floor leaning on the wall next to his door fast asleep was none other than Merlin. Arthur gave a heavy sigh as he gently kicked the other man in the side. Merlin jerked awake looking up at Arthur in shock. "This really doesn't look like a comfortable place to sleep Merlin."

Merlin seemed confused for a moment before it dawned on him that he had been asleep outside of the kings door. The servant hadn't been able to sleep worried about the King, so he had gone just to check that the man was sleeping and safe intending to return to his own room after only a moment. So much for that plan.

Arthur was waiting rather impatiently for the man to reply to him however Merlin remained silent. With a heavy sigh he walked back into his room, his plan for a walk forgotten. "Come inside." that sounded quite a bit like an order to Merlin. The servant did as he was told, getting up he rushed in after Arthur closing the door behind him.

Merlin fidgeted as he watched the King take the cloak off and sit at his table, pouring wine from a bottle that Merlin had failed to remove earlier. He handed the warlock a cup before sipping from his own. Merlin's eyed it warily as he took a seat next the the King. "It's not poisoned Merlin." Merlin rolled his eyes taking a sip of the wine.

"So why were you going out at this time of night?" Merlin questioned in almost a joking tone.

"Why were you asleep outside my door?"

"You first."

"Merlin, I don't think you understand how this works. You see, the King asks you a question and you answer." Merlin raised an eyebrow at that, trying to hold back a grin.

"Well if the King is asking and not Arthur I suppose I can answer." Arthur rolled his eyes at the man and the jab the servant made at there odd relationship. Friends until Arthur wanted something, then they were King and manservant.

"Just answer me."

"I was checking on you." Arthur was somewhat surprised by the answer, watching the other man for any hint as to what his intentions were.

"And why Merlin, would I need to be checked on?" Merlin grinned at the King.

"Because you're completely hopeless without me sire."

Arthur huffed as he brought the wine to his lips. "Be serious Merlin." he took a big gulp of the wine.

Merlin's grin fell, he played with the rim of his cup looking away from the King into the dark liquid before him. "I am serious, I was worried." Arthur grabbed the bottle pouring himself another cup. "You haven't been sleeping, you are even becoming distant from me-"

"In what way have I been distant from you?" Arthur narrowed his eyes on his manservant almost accusingly.

Merlin frowned speaking his words mimicking the King rather poorly. "You're dismissed Merlin, can't have you at a secret council meeting."

"I did not say anything about the meeting being secret."

"I'm not a fool Arthur, you never dismiss me during your meetings, you'd get bored." Merlin finally gulped down the wine, becoming irritated with the man.

"The meeting was going to run late, I saw no point in the both of us suffering through it." Oh that was a lie, Arthur didn't even have to look at Merlin to know he wouldn't buy that.

"right…" And there it was, the disbelief. "How silly of me my lord, of course you would be worried about my sleep schedule. Forgive me for not realizing." Merlin's words dripped of sarcasm and annoyance at his King. "You think I haven't noticed?"

"Noticed what?" Arthur leaned back in his seat, a deep frown on his features as he watched the other man's body language carefully, wanting to understand what the man was implying.

Merlin didn't seem to be willing to give answers however. The man got up from his seat grumbling. "Goodnight my lord."Arthur immediately rose, grabbing the man's arm stopping him from leaving.

"Don't be such a girl!" That made the manservant halt in his escape attempt, now frozen where he stood in Arthur's grasp. "Noticed what, Merlin?"

"You're distancing yourself from me." Merlin was becoming very irritated, he felt as though he was stating the obvious. He had noticed that, sense he almost kissed the King some weeks ago when Elyan was possessed, the King had been dismissing him more often.

"Because I dismissed you before a council meeting?"

"Because you keep sending me away! Keeping me busy in the stables or with Gaius or simply dismissing me all together! Because you're afraid of getting close to anyone! Afraid of…" Merlin trailed off, he wanted to tell the King he loved him, that he knew the King had an emotional attachment to him, that he was afraid of replacing Gwen, but Merlin couldn't speak the woman's name, not wanting to open those wounds no matter how angry he was. Merlin looked away, his eyes flashing gold briefly as his magic helped him force his way out of Arthur's grip and started for the door. "I am tired sire, I will see you in the morning."

"Wait!" Merlin froze, listening to what Arthur would say next.

Arthur wasn't sure what to do, he knew Merlin needed to leave but the moment his back went to Arthur the blond man had flashes of his dream, only it was definitely Merlin burning. "Stay…" He could see Merlin's shoulders sag as the man took a shaky breath.

"I shouldn't."

"Merlin, stay." At these words, Merlin turned and marched up to his King his eyes on the brink of tears.

"I can't!"

A silence fell over them, Arthur, not sure what to do about Merlin, let him go or ask again despite the clear refusal from him. Merlin's friendship was important the Arthur, but he couldn't put his desire to lean on Merlin above what needed to be done with the council. Merlin was feeling hurt, he felt rejected by the man in front of him. He had let himself hope too much, become too attached and now here he was, refusing his King because he had let his feelings get the better of him.

"Arthur, what happened before… when Elyan was possessed…" Merlin was struggling, he was going to tell Arthur the truth about why he couldn't stay having decided it was time to stop beating around the bush.

"Merlin, no." Arthur, assuming the servant was referring to the possibility of him using magic, saw images of Merlin bruning and didn't want to hear anymore on the topic. "Just… Please, stay."

Defeated, Merlin gave a deep heavy sigh, taking the change of topic as an indication that Arthur was not worried about their almost kiss. "Just until you fall asleep." A lie, always a lie.

Arthur immediately moved back to the bed, taking his place under the covers as Merlin, suddenly feeling quite tired, took off his boots and layed down on top of the blankets at the Kings side. Merlin knew he was allowing things to get out of hand, but denying Arthur was too difficult for him and it didn't help that he didn't want to deny him in the first place. Things were heading down a dangerous road and Merlin wasn't sure if this road would bring them both to new heights or drop them lower than ever before.

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As the days progressed things only seemed to get… more complicated between Merlin and Arthur. The warlock noticed that the both of them had started exchanging more contact, pats on the back became caresses, when undressing Arthur Merlin's hands would brush skin and linger longer than was necessary. Merlin had been sleeping in the king's chambers every night, even on nights he was dismissed early Merlin would grab what he needed from his own room before returning to Arthur's. No one seemed to have noticed the change, or at least if they had they did not bring it up to either of the men involved. As things escalated Merlin's hope was growing, he tried to squash it, knowing even with these changes in behavior the two could not be, nonetheless Merlin had pushed the boundaries as often as he could, having almost stolen a kiss a few times but hesitating at the last moment. So, with all this extra time together, Merlin was frustrated. Arthur's secret council meetings had continued and now the King had called all the lords and knights together for an announcement and Merlin had no idea what the man was planing. Thus Merlin now stood next to Gaius listening to the man reveal everything.

"As you are all aware, Camelot's claim to the land of Gedref has long been in dispute. Today I can announce that after many months of confidential negotiations, the Kingdoms of Nemeth and Camelot have reached an agreement." Merlin frowned, he didn't like how that sounded, even more so as these were the negotiations he had not been allowed to attend. "You have nothing to fear, it is a fair and honorable agreement that befits two great kingdoms. Furthur more our friendship will be cemented by a union that cannot be broken," Merlin felt his jaw slack, hoping the King wasn't gong where he thought he was. "my hand in marriage to her royal highness, Princess Mithian." And there it was. Merlin felt his heart was being run through before it was dropped to the ground, wounded.

Merlin saw Gaius turn to him in the corner of his eye but did not return the look as he stared at Arthur, trying not to scream or cry or do anything that might give away just how much what the man just said hurt. "Smile." Gaius ordered.

"He can't…" Merlin's voice sounded harsh. "I…"

"And clap. Smile and clap." Gaius was urging. Merlin forced a horribly fake smile and started clapping, still trying to control his eyes which were now watering. Merlin always knew the King would ultimately have to marry, have children, but after all they had been through the past few months he had hoped Arthur would have given him more warning, cared about his feelings more.

Arthur started moving past all the lords and knights, Merlin immediately followed hot on the man's heels. Once out of earshot of the crowd Merlin's hurt turned to anger and he spoke to Arthur harshly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Arthur didn't turn to face him which only mad Merlin angrier. "How could you not say anything?!"

Without facing him Arthur spoke, sounding rather annoyed. "That's what confidential means, keeping it from blabbermouths like you."

"You can't-" Merlin didn't know what he was going to say, that he can't do this to him, that he can't give him hope and then stomp on his heart like it meant nothing.

Finally Arthur turned to face him. "No you're right I can't. Oh wait a minute, I'm the King so I can."

Merlin groaned in frustration as the King started to turn away again." Surely it's a little…" He trailed off, once again not sure what to say.

"What?" Arthur demanded.

"What about-"

"What about what Merlin?" Arthur moved in close, eying him dangerously. Merlin couldn't speak, feeling as though he was under things King's feet. "What about Guinevere?" He sneered it and Merlin felt those words digging into him, now realising the King wasn't thinking of him at all. "I told you not to mention her name again."

"I didn't. It wasn't her I was talking about."

That seemed to peak Arthur's interested. "Than what are you talking about?"

Merlin's magic scanned the area, making sure no one was within eye or ear shot before he made a decision that could very well be his last as the Kings manservant. He grabbed Arthur by the back of his neck, pulling him forward into him and meeting the King's lips with his own. At first Arthur didn't do anything, just frozen in place for a moment. Merlin felt him lean into him just a bit, Arthur having relaxed into the contact for a moment, as if it was welcomed, before the King suddenly pushed away from Merlin. Merlin tried to look as confident in what he had just done as he could, wanting Arthur to know that yes, the warlock knew what he was doing. Arthur didn't say anything, his face was blank as he turned and simply walked away from his manservant, leaving Merlin to ponder what would happen next.

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Merlin didn't see Arthur the rest of the day. When evening came he didn't dare go to the King's chambers, he was relieved that he already hadn't been banished from Camelot, he wasn't going to push his luck by sleeping next to the King right after what he had done. Besides, if the man went through with this marriage he would have to get used to Merlin's absence.

A loud knock was heard on Merlin's door, bringing the warlocks attention to his door. "Merlin! The King requests your presence!" Merlin cursed under his breath as he got off his bed and opened his door to find a knight eying him. Merlin knew he couldn't refuse,but he was dreading what the man would have to say to him. He followed the night out of the rooms, Gaius giving Merlin a curious look. The knight escorted Merlin all the way to the King's chambers, even opening the door for him and shutting it as the warlock stepped in. Arthur was sitting at his work table looking over some documents, he looked up at Merlin with a blank expression.

"Where have you been all day?" Arthur questioned, Merlin was silent for a moment, when he was ready to answer the question Arthur turned his eyes back to the documents appearing bored. "My armor needs to be polished and my laundry gathard. Princess Mithian is on her way here so her rooms will also need to be prepared, I trust you can oversee these preparations?" Merlin felt the stab to his heart from Arthur's words, as if nothing had happened. On top of that he wanted Merlin to take charge of the preparations for the arrival of the King's new fiance, it was cold and a clear message.

"Y-Yes… Sire." Merlin looked down at his feet, not wanting Arthur to see what his words did to him.

Arthur rose from his seat walking to his changing screen. "Good, you are dismissed."

Merlin bit his lip as he quickly gathered the laundry before he bowed to the King and then left the mans room.

Arthur gave a heavy and shaky sigh once the man was gone. He didn't like how much it hurt to treat Merlin coldly, even more painful knowing that from now on the man would not be able to keep him company at night. After Merlin had kissed him he found his mind would rarely be on anything else, it had been pleasant and he wanted to repeat the experience and that might be the most frightening thing, that Arthur just might have feelings for his very male servent. The King pushed those thoughts away, it didn't matter, especially now, he would soon have a Queen and would need an heir. A relationship with Merlin was impossible no matter what angle he looked at the situation.

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Arthur, Merlin, the knights and many members of the castle staff stood outside in the courtyard awaiting the arrival of Princess Mithian. The past few days of preparation for the Princess' arrival have been tense to say the least. Arthur and Merlin had barely spoken to each other beyond giving and receiving orders. Merlin had not stayed at the King's side over night and the warlock had taken notice of the tired look in Arthur's eyes, the slight circles barely noticeable under his eyes, he had not been sleeping. Marlin's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of horse hooves hitting the stone ground of the castles courtyard. Merlin watched as several knights strategically circled around a vieled woman came into view, they only stopped their motion once they were a few feet from the steps the King and his people currently stood on.

Arthur cleared his throat before speaking with confedince. "Knights of Nemeth, Camelot welcomes you and extends the hand of friendship." The knights split allowing the woman to bring her horse forward, she reached for her viel pulling it away from her face. Merlin clinched his teeth as his eyes went between the Princess and the King, knowing Arthur was admiring her beauty. He knew it was wrong, hoping she wouldn't be so beautiful, hoping there would be something wrong with her, but she was gorgeous, fitting for a Queen.

One of the knights helped Mithian from her horse as Arthur stepped down from the stairs to meet her. "Princess Mithian, you are most welcome."

Merlin wanted to run away. He watched the slight smirk on the womans face, a flirtatious glint in her eye. "Thank you, your highness. I've heard much about you, and you are more handsome in person than report suggested." Mithian said. Merlin looked away, trying to compose himself before he carefully stepped behind the other servants and disappeared inside the castle. He just couldn't do it, he couldnt watch this.

Merlin had hoped he would sneak away without being noticed, however, as Arthur turned to address the castle to welcome their soon to be Queen, he saw Merlin. First he was looking away, appearing every bit the wounded man he was, before he carefully stepped into the castle and ran away. Arthur tried to ignore how his chest tightened as he watched the man run past windows away from his King. It shouldn't hurt that bad, he was still furious with Merlin for the kiss he had forced on him, but Arthur could not ignore the part of him that was even more furious that it could never happen again.


	5. Chapter 5: A Queen to Produce an Heir

A/N: Sorry it took so long guys! Things got crazy this year, a car accident, moving, changes at my job. ALL SORTS OF CRAZY STUFF! Anyway, things are starting to pick up in this chapter, sorry it jumps around a lot! This chapter takes place during an actual episode so I was trying to only write what changes and not worry about anything in the episode that did not change. After this we will have a major break from canon stuff so hopefully it won't be so jumpy. Alright, time for the chapter!

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Chapter 5: A Queen to Produce an Heir

Arthur was upset, why? Clearly it is because Merlin abandoned his duties, he didn't assist with getting the Princess settled in the previous day, he didn't bring the King his breakfast that morning, in fact he hadn't seen the servant sense he took off from the welcome when Mithian arrived. This is why Arthur was upset, well, that is at least what he was trying to tell himself as he worried about his clearly hurt servant who had proclaimed his feelings for his King in the most inappropriate dangerous way possible with not so much as a slap on the wrist. Arthur grumbled to himself as he made his way to Merlin and Gaius' quarters planning on giving his idiot manservant a piece of his mind. When he made it to the door he was about to give a brief knock but hesitated as he heard Merlin's voice on the other side of the thin door.

"Is this Arthur's fate? To marry this… Princess?" Merlin asked hesitantly. Arthur frowned, he found it rather annoying that Merlin had a habit of talking about fate and destiny as if it had any real power.

"I can't say." Gaius spoke.

"Is it his fate to marry Gwen?" Arthur wanted to break the door when he heard that woman's name, especially when Merlin spoke it.

"If it is, then it will find a way to happen."

"Am I supposed to do anything? What about me?" Arthur's hand finally fell to his side, simply listening to the conversing men.

"What about you?"

"I have sacrificed everything for Arthur, I work as his servant, I stay in a Kingdom that condemns everything I am." Arthur felt a little burned by that statement, what about Merlin could possibly be condemnable? His status? His feelings for Arthur? Or something worse? "I bend over backwards to keep him happy and alive and for what!? So I can live miserably in fear!?"

"Merlin!"

"I don't know how long I can do this Gaius."

"This isn't really about Gwen, is it?" Arthur seriously considered walking away, not listening anymore, but he wanted to know the answer.

There was a short tense pause before Merlin finally answered. "Of course it's about Gwen." Arthur actually felt his heart sink a little.

"Merlin." Gaius sounded disappointed, he paused for a moment, perhaps waiting for Merlin to say something. "This is about you."

"No." Arthur could almost see the shake of Merlin's head.

"Merlin, Arthur needs a Queen to produce an heir. A union with Princess Mithian is ideal."

"I know." Arthur was so focused on the conversation he didn't notice Leon walking toward the door, nor his hesitation as he saw the King standing outside Gaius' rooms.

"You must push any feeling you might have aside, this is for the best."

"I don't have any… feelings." Arthur rolled his eyes at that blatant lie.

"You don't honestly think I'll believe that?"

There was a pause, Arthur straining to listen to what Merlin would say as Leon finally came up behind Arthur. "I… I lo-"

"My lord," Leon said loud enough to stop Merlin mid sentence on the other side of the door. "what are you doing here?"

Arthur turned to the man, hiding the annoyance and slight blush on his cheeks rather well. "Leon, I… I came too… too... why are you here?" Leon eyed the man suspiciously but answered nonetheless.

"I needed to see Gaius. A message from Lord Agravaine."

Arthur nods before stepping aside so that the knight could enter the room he had been standing outside of. Leon entered with the King on his heels, Gaius looked rather concerned, probably having figured out that Arthur had been outside the whole time. Merlin would not even look up from his food.

"Lord Agravaine requires your presence." Leon addressed Gaius.

The elder man immediately got to his feet. "Of course."

"Is my Uncle alright?" Arthur questioned the knight with concern.

Leon nodded. "He is fine my lord. I boy was found dead today, Agravaine wishes for Gaius to examine the body."

Arthur returns the nod. "Alright, keep me informed." Arthur waved his arm dismissing the knight and physician who left immediately. Once alone the silence between the King and his servant was suffocating. Both had much to say yet neither could find their voice. Merlin finally broke the silence as he stood.

"I should see to my duties sire."

Merlin attempted to walk past the King but Arthur stopped him, grabbing his arm as he tried to pass rather hard.

"In what way does Camelot condemn you Merlin?" Arthur questioned critically, trying to ignore the tightness in his chest. Merlin still refused to meet Arthur's eyes.

"Sire please, I must work."

Arthur gritted his teeth, only Merlin would have the insolence to ignore a question from his King. Arthur let go of the arm, turning and walking out in front of Merlin, not looking at him as he spoke. "Fine, the stables need cleaning, my chamber floor scrubbed, and my laundry done." Arthur suddenly halted, turning around and rather pleased to find Merlin had not been far behind. "And tonight dinner will be a feast with the Knights and Princess Mithian, I expect you to be at the Princess's service as well as mine. After I will need a bath and my armor polished."

Merlin said nothing, he simply nodded. Arthur felt himself becoming angry, he wanted to yell at the man to say SOMETHING, but his pride was to strong for that, so he simply turned his back to Merlin and left.

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Arthur entered the room just as Merlin had finished preparing the bath for the King. The man took immediate notice of the warlock. "Ah, Merlin. I will need you to prepare a picnic with breakfast for two in the morning."

"Of course sire." Arthur paused for a moment as he was reaching to remove his chainmail. Yes sire, of course sire, sire… these were the only words Arthur had heard from Merlin all day, if he spoke at all that is. The mans spark seemed absent. Arthur jumped a little when he felt Merlin's hands on him, pulling at his chainmail to remove it for the King. Arthur looked away, definitely not to hide the heat that was certainly not in his cheeks. Once Merlin had the King down to his under shirt and pants he left him to finish undressing, gathering the armor to be polished.

Arthur tried to focus on anything besides Merlin, the man infuriated him, however, a million questions were circling the Kings mind, all wanting an answer. After undressing and climbing into the perfectly heated bath Arthur finally gave in and asked his first question just as Merlin was about to leave with the armor.

"How long?" Merlin paused, turning to Arthur.

"Sire, I need to take your armor to be polished." Arthur gritted his teeth, fed up with Merlin's evasions.

"Polish it here." It was not a request but an order, one Merlin knew better than to refuse. The servant set the armor down on the table before grabbing the polish from a cabinet in the room and sitting down to do his work. "Merlin, how long?" Arthur repeated the question.

"How long what?" Merlin didn't need to read minds to know what the King was asking, but he hoped he could at least stall his answer.

Arthur, still with his back to the other man, placed his hand against his lips as if in thought.

"Don't play dumb Merlin and answer the question."

A heavy sigh sounded from the servant as he worked, moving so his back was to the King. "If you are looking for a specific moment that my feelings surfaced, I don't have an answer. I realized them when you were bit by the Questing Beast." Merlin didn't see it but he could hear the waters movement as Arthur looked at him in shock.

"For so long…" it was a whisper but Merlin heard it.

"I thought I was going to lose you, I knew at that moment that I didn't care what happened to me, I would live through a life of torture if it meant bringing you back." Merlin was saying too much, he didn't care, Arthur had asked so it was time he knew the truth.

"You never said anything, not until now... why?"

"At first I was scared to say anything, then you were in love." Arthur turned away at that, thinking back to all the times Merlin had helped Arthur and Guinevere sneak around, how many times Merlin encouraged Arthur to do what was best for his heart, even if his father would be furious. Merlin had done all of it while forcing his own feelings aside. "When you decided to marry I knew it was for love, I just wanted you to be happy. Then it all fell apart and now…"

"I am to marry for country…" Arthur finished his servants words, now understanding why it was NOW of all times Merlin would reveal the truth, he was willing to give him up to be happy, but not to someone he did not love. "Merlin, I…" Arthur wasn't sure what he was going to say, the more he thought about it the more he realized that he, just maybe, had feelings for Merlin. As this realization made its way through the mind of the King Gaius' words quickly followed. "a Queen to produce on heir" and just like that, Arthur felt his heart break for the second time. He was King, he could never be with someone who could not bare children. "I'm sorry," he kept his back to the man, listening as the sound of armor being polished halted. "this… it changes nothing, I will be marrying Princess Mithian… if… if you wish to leave my service, I would not blame you…" At first there was no sound, then he heard the oddly light foot falls of Merlin getting closer, a hand touched his shoulder, reassuring him.

"I will remain by your side Arthur, if this is what you want, I will be as faithful as I was when you were to marry Gwen." Arthur felt relieved, he could never love Merlin, but to lose him completely might have taken him to his breaking point. Arthur placed his hand on Merlin's in gratitude, he felt droplets running down his hand and turned his head just enough to make out the shininess on Merlin's face, his tears. Merlin pulled away as if burned when he realized he was crying. "If it is alright sire, I will finish my chores in the armory." Arthur gave a dismissive nod and Merlin quickly gathered the armor and left.

Arthur tried to find any discomfort in himself, whether caused by his feeling, Merlin's feelings, or even all the times Merlin saw him naked, but he could only find discomfort in the fact that he caused Merlin's tears. Arthur himself tried to push away the twisting in his stomach, the lump in his throat, the water in his eyes but he couldn't. The King splashed himself in the face so he might pretend that his eyes were wet from the bath and not the salty tears mixing with the water.

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Despite the hope that everything would return to normal between them, Arthur and Merlin found themselves unable to do so. Merlin was overly polite and to the point, while Arthur could not bring himself to be harsh to the clearly wounded man in anyway. This change did not go unnoticed by the knights who watched as Arthur, Merlin and Mithian were preparing to leave for a breakfast picnic. Merlin was securing the basket of food to his horse as Arthur helped Mithian onto her horse. His eyes glanced at Merlin as he strapped the last pillow to his horse, wondering if he would have helped Merlin onto his horse if Arthur had not been a King. He was brought from his thoughts as Merlin's eyes met his, Arthur could choke on the tension between them.

"Sire, do you require assistance?" Merlin asked, it took Arthur a moment to realize Merlin was offering to help him onto his own horse.

"That won't be necessary Merlin." Arthur said as he grabbed onto his saddle and climbed on. He watched as Merlin, with a blank expression, climbed onto his own horse. With that Arthur led the trio out of the court yard.

Gwain, Leon and Elyan exchanged glances before Gwain's eyes settled on Leon.

"Have you any idea what's happened there?"

"Arthur did something foolish again?" Elyan offered still staring after the King and his servant as if he could still see them.

Leon shook his head, his thoughts turning to when he had found the King standing outside Gaius' door listening to Merlin talk. "I believe it is more complicated than that." Now Elyan looked at Leon curiously, wondering what Leon knew that he and Gwain did not. Leon leaned in close as to keep passers-by from hearing. "I think Arthur has feelings for Merlin."

Gwain looked unimpressed while Elyan looked completely shocked.

"This is old news my friend." Gwain said patting Leon on the back.

"What!?" Elyan said much louder than he had intended.

"It's clear as day." Gwain shrugged watching Elyan gawk.

Leon ignored Elyan's shock and started walking toward the training grounds with Gwain. "Honestly I feel rather foolish for not having seen it sooner. When did you notice?"

Gwain barked a laugh bringing Elyan back to the present, the knight quickly followed after his friends.

"I've known of Merlin's feelings sense I first met him and the Princess." Leon tried to ignore the odd nickname Gwain had given Arthur. "As for Arthur, I was never completely sure, his relationship with Gwen left little room for question."

"So then, Arthur was going to marry my sister, when he had feelings for… Merlin?" Something seemed to click in Elyan's mind, suddenly everything made sense. Arthur and Merlin's relationship had always seemed so odd, and Gwen and Merlin were also very similar. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm relieved Gwen isn't here for this."

"Well, what are we going to do about it?" Gwain asked.

Leon had a deep frown thinking over the situation. "It would not be wise to get involved in the King's affairs."

Gwain threw an arm over Leon shoulders with a chuckle. "Yes, but when has that ever stopped us."

"It would be bad if Arthur married while in love with another, it could lead to a scandal." Elyan finally gave his opinion, shocking the other two.

"What about Guinevere?" Leon questioned him. After all, Gwen was Elyan's sister, surely he would put her before Merlin.

"It's for the best, she's better off not married to a man who loves another."

"That settles it! Let's help out the love birds!" Gwain said ecstatically.

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Merlin had managed to pick a perfect spot with a perfect view to set up the picnic, and Arthur simply could not bring himself to torment the man as he set up. He could see the effort it was taking Merlin to adjust to the changes in their relationship, he saw no point in kicking him while he was down. As he and Mithian enjoyed their breakfast, Merlin sat on the other side of a nearby tree, trying not to listen to the conversation.

"Is something the matter?" Mithian asked with a sweet smile. Arthur looked into her eyes and smiled.

"Everything is splendid."

Mithian's smile turned teasing as she looked behind her where the tree Merlin sat at was. "You seem distracted my lord." She looked back at him, curiosity flickering in her eyes.

Arthur examined Mithian carefully, she really was a wonderful woman, kind, funny and very honest, really she was a perfect woman. Despite all this, Arthur could not find any feelings for the woman beyond a fond friendship. Would that be enough?

Arthur's eyes briefly glanced at Merlin again, catching a glimpse of the man peeking around the tree at them. Looking to Mithian, Arthur frowned.

"Forgive me Princess, I have a lot on my mind." Mithian placed a comforting hand on Arthur's.

"Is it anything I can assist you with?"

Arthur found a great deal of comfort in the Princess, perhaps she would be able to bring him comfort in this time of confusion. "I friend of mine is troubled by my choice to enter into our arrangement," Arthur said trying to be as careful as he could with his words. "They are worried for my happiness."

Mithian seemed pleased with the honesty Arthur was using with her, normally a betrothed would keep that to themselves in an effort to avoid insult. "You were engaged before, yes?" Arthur gave a simple nod. "You lost someone you had cared deeply for, even wanted to marry. It can be a little scary to enter into an… arrangement like ours after that." Arthur had not missed the pause, nor did he miss the bit of disappointment in Mithian at the use of arrangement over engagement.

When Mithian continued she spoke a little louder and confidant in Hope's that Merlin might her hear. "My Lord, would it perhaps help your friend if they knew that I would do my utmost to help you find happiness again?" Arthur was taken back, he saw Merlin glance over his shoulder at them, an ever so slight up turn to his lips. Mithian truly was a kind woman, she had already taken a liking to Merlin, Arthur could see it, she could tell the King was close to Merlin and therefore wanted to help ease his worries. Yes, she would make a wonderful Queen, yet Arthur still couldn't find so much as an ounce of emotion beyond fondness for her.

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Arthur stood in his chambers flipping his mother's ring between his fingers as he stared at it as if in a trance. Everything had been going so smoothly, he and Merlin started to feel a little normal around each other and the hunt with Mithian had started out splendid. However, finding his mother's ring, the ring he had given Guinevere, had shaken everything. Arthur had locked himself in his chambers upon arrival back to the castle and ordered that no one disturb him, not even Merlin.

He felt lost, confused, he had been so sure that Guinevere was to be the perfect companion but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that his favorite things about the woman were in fact the things that reminded him of Merlin and it felt wrong. Not because of his feelings for Merlin, because he was realizing his feeling for Guinevere simply weren't as deep, he loved her, but Arthur was now coming to the understanding that he in fact loved Merlin more.

As the King continued to stare at the ring, pondering if it really should have been Merlin's hand it sat on, he heard the sound of frantic foot falls before the very man that plagued his mind came bursting into the room.

"Sire, I need to talk to you-"

"I told you I don't want to be disturbed." Arthur interrupted the other man not daring to look at him.

Merlin bit his lip before speaking again. "Sire it is of great importance."

Arthur sighed and looked up at the man, seeing the distress and concern in Merlin's eyes he gave in. "What is so important Merlin?"

Merlin stopped, seeming somewhat surprised at how easy it was for Arthur to listen. "I have reason to believe Agravaine is working for Morgana and they are planning on attacking us using the plans for the siege tunnels." Merlin watched as Arthur stared at him with disbelief, they waited in silence as Arthur processed what had been said to him. First he felt angry at Merlin for even thinking such a thing, but then he felt fear creeping up his spine. What reason would Merlin have to make up such accusations, especially with their relationship strained as it was. Despite this, Arthur did not want to believe that his uncle, his last piece of family, would ever betray him like this.

"Merlin, what you are suggesting is a serious accusation," Arthur finally spoke stepping around the table, as he closed in on Merlin the man quickly backed away from him in an effort to keep distance from the King. Arthur groaned, he trusted Merlin, but if he was to believe this he needed proof. The King left the room with Merlin hot on his heels, he hastily walked through the castle to the archives, he said nothing to Merlin as they walked but he knew he was following. The guards opened the room for their King and stepped aside so he and the servant could enter. Arthur, having memorized the organization of the archives by heart, immediately walked to the cabinet with the siege tunnel plans, unlocking it. After feeling around for only a few moments he found the scrolls and pulled them out for Merlin to see, shock clear in the man's eyes before panic seemed to set in. Arthur put them away slamming the cabinet shut.

"You make an accusation without proof." He advanced on Merlin until the servants back came in contact with a set of cabinets, Arthur had him trapped. "What are you playing at?"

"Arthur, please. Why would I lie about this? What would I gain?" Arthur pondered that for a moment. What would be gained by purposely accusing a noble for something they hadn't done? Nothing, especially in Merlin's position.

"Alright, I will look into the matter," The King said, once again shocking Merlin with his lack of stubbornness.

"You will?" Merlin tried to lean into the cabinets to get some distance from Arthur who was so close at this point he could feel his breath on his cheek.

"Merlin, you are a loyal servant, I do not believe you would make such a serious accusation against a member of my family unless you were sure it was true."

"You don't?"

"No. However, should you prove wrong you are never to speak ill of my uncle again, is that clear?" Merlin nodded as much as he could with Arthur's face as close as it was to him. He tried to look at anything other than Arthur's eyes or lips, worried about what he would do if he did. Arthur seemed less concerned, he just got closer, his lips faintly touching Merlin's. Before the King could fully press his lips to Merlin's, the warlock jumped, he nimbly pushed past Arthur and bolted for the door.

"I will return to my duties now sire, I will bring your dinner later." Merlin bowed before bursting out of the room.

Arthur stood alone among the papers and cabinets staring at the spot Merlin had been standing in. As he thought about his ever changing relationship with the other man and how he couldn't seem to keep a physical distance even in this situation, Arthur had a crushing realization. Now that he knew of his feeling for Merlin, he would not be able to stay faithful to Mithian, he didn't care enough for her to let the other man go.

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A/N: Well, there you have it, I don't know about you but the next chapter has me excited! Let me know your thoughts! I'm also always open to suggestions so if you have an idea for where this fanfic goes please share, I won't promise it will happen but I aim to please my readers as much as I can. See you guys next time!


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